Losing her temper with her two young boys, lying awake worrying and frequent low days prompted science and health journalist Emma Young to research how to build a stronger, happier, more resilient mind. Over an intense year, she interviewed everyone from an apparently ageless yoga and meditation expert at Yale University to Sheffield’s world kickboxing champion. She became her own experiment, trying out the techniques she explored.
'Two years on, I’m not perfect, but low days are a lot less common,' says Emma. 'These are my mind-strengthening strategies:
1. Discover your relaxation response
First on my list was meditation. The breakthrough came as I interviewed a maverick professor at Harvard Medical School. Dr Herbert Benson, one of the first Western scientists to take meditation seriously, told me that, based on over 50 years of research in his labs, any style of meditation works if it does one thing for you: breaks the train of everyday thinking, and kicks in your relaxation response.
So how do you know you’ve got there? For me, I first felt that rush of energised peace at my desk, with Benson’s hypnotic voice drifting up from my phone. Now, I try to do Benson’s 10-minute technique whenever I can. You just sit for 10 minutes, eyes closed, choose a word – perhaps peace or love – and silently utter it on the out-breath. If other thoughts come to mind, think, ‘Oh well’, then return to the word. That’s it.
2. Find your groove
I realised I didn’t use music enough when I read a study showing the right track can make you feel happier or more tender, calmer or more energetic, more loving or more joyful. Lawrence Parsons, a former professor of cognitive neuroscience at the University of Sheffield, was recommended to me by all kinds of experts, as the person who knows about music’s effect on the brain. After speaking with him, I decided to play the Frozen soundtrack at bath time. The result? A lot less squabbling and
a lot more singing. The neighbours might not love it, but I’m sure they find it preferable to screeches. Choose a song you like and that’s the one that’ll trigger your brain’s reward centre.
3. Ditch the sunglasses
Your internal body clock can fall out of alignment with the 24-hour day and, when that happens, low mood and lethargy can follow, says pioneer researcher Professor Michael Terman at Columbia University in the US. One of the best ways to prevent a misalignment, or to fix it, is to expose your eyes to full-strength sunlight, first thing. Start your day with at least 20 minutes outside without sunglasses (but don’t look directly at the sun, of course).
4. Exercise your mind
Exercise and I parted company the minute I was no longer required to endure it at school. Then I visited Dr Matthew Stults-Kolehmainen, the resident exercise specialist at Yale Stress Center. Exercise, he told me, strengthens the mind. We know about ‘feel-good’ endorphins, but exercise also tweaks the activity of the brain’s stress pathways, warding off anxiety, and boosts the growth of new brain cells, protecting the brain from the damaging effects of worry. So how much exercise do you need to reap the maximum psychological benefits? 150 minutes a week of moderate-to-vigorous-intensity exercise, ideally five 30-minute sessions. They have to get your heart rate going, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the gym. Dr Stults-Kolehmainen does what he calls ‘hard’ housework once a week, including doing squats with his laundry basket!
5. Talk to strangers
I’m more introvert than extrovert; while I have friends I love dearly, I used to avoid casual social interactions at any cost. Then I read about a study conducted on rail commuters in Chicago. It found people who were instructed to strike up conversation with a stranger reported a boost to their mood – and
this held whether they were extrovert or introvert. Now, I consciously try to chat to cashiers in the supermarket, people in the park. It’s a simple, quick mood lift.
6. Recognise the positives
According to online tests I’ve taken, I’m a pessimist. Apparently, this is bad news if your goal is to be mentally strong. One suggestion from Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania (a man often called the father of positive psychology) is to write down, every evening, what went well in the day, and why. The first time I tried this, I felt a bit awkward. I wrote, ‘The kids and I walked to school – we all got exercise and nobody got upset. Why? Because I made an effort to be encouraging, and tried to get them to focus on fun things, like seeing cats and patting passing dogs.’ Even before I got to my second point, I was feeling better. Mindless pep-talk (‘You’re a wonderful person! You’re going to be so super-successful today!’) would never work for me, but this is based on reality. I don’t always find time, but I try to do it, because it helps me focus on the positives, and my role – however limited – in making things go well.
7. Forgive yourself
What if you find yourself worrying about something you can’t change? Or lose your temper? While I’m a lot better now, I’m not perfect. I now enjoy exercise, I don’t always make all of my 30-minute sessions. If I deviate from my goals, I remember a strategy I learned in New York, during a talk on the science of compassion. The gist: so long as it isn’t happening all the time, forgive yourself. Sounds simple, but it was a revelation to me. I’d spent decades fervently believing there’s no excuse for poor behaviour. And here was someone saying it’s okay – actually, better than okay – occasionally to give yourself a break.'
Sane: How I Shaped Up My Mind, Improved My Mental Strength, And Found Calm by Emma Young (Yellow Kite, £12.99)
This is an abridged version of a story in the July 2015 issue of Red magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.
